Going Out For Chinese Food

Sep. 1st, 2003

Hello Hello,

What can I say? I am taking a small hiatus. I bet you money that you have at one point felt the urge to runaway. Slowly but surely this feeling crept upon me, and when it finally had control, I had no choice but to give in. True, I don't know a single person. True, I know very little of the language. True, I don't know what I am going to be doing. However, for the next six months, I will be living in china. To be honest, it hasn't occurred to me really what I am doing. Is this a learning experience? Am I trying to make my millions? Or am I going to meet my future Chinese wife? Who really knows, but I have always had faith in the unknown. One thing I know for certain is that it would be foolish of me to break off all contact with my friends and family. Therefore, you are fortunate enough to be chosen as someone I respect and want to keep in contact with. Congratulations, you have made the cut. In the ideal world, I would send you weekly updates, but I am hardly
an ideal individual. Therefore, expect sporadic slightly incoherent correspondences that are always enjoyable. I will welcome any news from you. Please keep me informed. As I prepare for my 21-hour plane ride to the orient, I bid you adieu and good travels. I am confident that our paths will meet again.

Sincerely,

Jason

Post Script: If you happen to be in Beijing for the next six months, please stop by. I will make you breakfast.

Arrival

With only slimmest faith in Air Canada, I traversed an entire continent and a big pond. The journey was excruciatingly long and smelly; however, I am pleased to announce that I survived the long trip to Beijing.

After living here a week I have discovered 3 truths.
1. The only thing worse than the pollution here is the driving of taxi drivers.
2. I have spoken more Chinese in a day than I have in an entire year of Chinese classes at NYU.
3. Jet lag should be classified as an ailment equivalent to SARS.

My first day was very interesting. I was pleased to discover than I was not going to be living in a shack beside the reservoir. Instead, I have a pre-furnished apartment with running water and a dvd player (dvds only cost 1 dollar). I met my new roommate, Israel. He is southern gentleman from Nashville who is learning Kung Fu. That night, lacking 34 hours of sleep, I went out with some fellow westerners to the bar district. It was there that I realized that china was the land of the paradox. People drive around in Mercedes and text message on $300 dollar phones on one side of the street. On the other side, there is a two year old girl who is tugging on your pant leg for 10 minutes asking for 20 cents.

This week has had its ups and downs. Currently, I am recovering from a nasty fever that totally incapacitated me. Already, I am craving a pb&j sandwich as a relief from the accustomed. Yet, I am growing accustomed to the Beijing life.

Before I depart, I would like to announce that if you come to beijing, I will not only make you breakfast but I will buy you a pair of nikes for $5.

Sincerely in Beijing,

Jason

Chinese medicine and other experiences

Sep. 25th 2003

I would give all the tea in china to be there in person but unfortunately this much suffice.

I have escaped from the cold clutch of death. With a mighty effort and the help of numerous asian drugs, I defeated that loathsome ailment which crippled my body. However, my little cough gave me an excellent reason to have acupunture done. The experience was something out of a vietnam war movie starring charlie sheen. As I entered the dilapidated hospital, I was instantly taken back by the strong stench of sweating, yelling, angry chinese people. After entering, I was escorted up to the acupunture ward. It was my good fortune that the doctor spoke enough english to explain that I would not be seriously harmed in the procedure. There is no greater rush than having a needle stuck in your navel. Overall, I believe that the treatment was a success. My yin and yang have never felt more balanced.

This past week I have started my classes at the da xue (university). At first, I thought the teacher was speaking in tongues. It was only after 2 days that I realized she was speaking chinese. It took me another day to find out that she was talking to me in chinese. At this rate I will have mastered the language in about 2 weeks.

I managed to haggle myself a bike to get me to class each morning. I named the bike White Lightning after the horse I always wish I had. Besides its rusty jagged edged frame there was never a better stead.

Lastly, I have managed to indulge my craving for western cuisine. I went to the only mexican restaurant in Beijing. A burrito never tasted so sweet. I am now good for another few weeks.

Sincerely learning chinese,

Great Wall

So all of sudden, I am standing there on top this precipice, and it occurs to me. I say to myself, "This is one massively huge enourmous big wall". Just as I am saying this, I hear some shouting. I look down and see a tiny speck running up to me. After a few minutes, I realize it is a government official. He starts telling me that I am going to die or something. I say relax, and then he points at a sign that reads 'dangerous do not climb'. I am a lover not a fighter, so I had to at least get photo of us hugging.

Sincerely kicked off the great wall,

Jason

Adventures in the Desert

Oct. 14, 2003

I have been traveling. I made an excursion out to inner Mongolia. I didn't even know where inner Mongolia was till I arrived. There is just one question I asked myself at the end of my intriguing trip to Mongolia: If there is a God, why did he create such a place.

I believe that being trapped in a burning coffin would be a comparative spa to riding an overnight Chinese train. Upon arriving in Houhot, I was shipped off to the Mongolian grasslands on a bus full of Koreans.

My first day in Mongolia was a perpetual whirlwind of excitement and activities. I believe that my trip consisted of two grand highlights. The first of which occurred right as I exited the bus where I was ransacked by a group of old ladies wanting me to rent an old beat up army jacket. However, this was no ordinary thrift store special, this amazing coat was an authentic Stalinist, I love Lennon, capitalist kicking, cold war winning monstrously cool coat. I promptly purchased this amazing dream coat (to which a picture will be sent).

This coat saved my life because at night the temp. dips below O degrees; additionally, they regretted to inform of me that I was going to be sleeping in a traditional Mongolian home, Yurt (otherwise known as it is so cold in here that I can't feel my toes).

The third day was where the second highlight occurred. I arrived in the Gobi desert, a site that did astound me. It is a very big desert and they had dune buggies. Ten minutes upon arriving, I was bounding across the desert, wind flying through my hair, particles of sand entrenched in my gigantic grin, being chased by a hoard of Chinese people who wanted their vehicle back. I must confess that my Chinese is poor, when they said you can drive it for 30 seconds I thought they said go cruising until the gas runs out.

After I get back, I am sure that "Real World" would be interested in a season in Mongolia. You could devote a whole episode to the quality of the bathrooms and the lavish decorations of the yurts.

Mongolia

There was a strong wind on the steppes that day, but I did not feel the chill. The blue sea sky was only blemished by a single white cloud in the east. It could have been my lack of sleep or my delusions of grandeur but I had a vision that cool desolate afternoon. Looking out upon the endless miles of rolling grassy knolls, I felt a kinsman ship with Genghis Khan ready to lead the Mongols over the great wall into the heart of the Han empire to ransack the heart of the dynasty. The thought also occurred to me that I could be a Russian premier, smashing my shoe down on the table, telling the United States I will crush them. Power, pure and unaltered, This is one cool coat.

TV shows, food and visitors

Nov. 7 2003

Well, I will tell you. Now, I know that I have been a little lax on the email sending. If I was one of those professional, punctual or proficient persons who periodically posted and proscribed every point and procedure, I feel that you might be particularly bored. So, like all good things, I make you wait. Letting the anticipation build to a point of near combustion. Now that I have you salivating for the juicy gossip I have to unleash, I advise you to sit back and hold on to you seats because we are in for a wild ride.

I last left you in a near state of pandemonium, in which I had just barely escaped from the cold desolate grasslands of Inner Mongolia. After almost being Shanghai'ed, I triumphedly returned to Beijing with trumpets blazing and banners flying high. Having felt that if I fell into a routine of school, study and other such tedious affairs, I would certainly be knocked off my pedestal of euphoria. I decided to do something a bit dramatic. As you may remember, I came to China for three reasons: 1. To become fluent in Chinese 2. To get one step closer to attaining my millions 3. To get my own Television show on Central China Television. You might at first hawk at my bold brash statements but I assure you that I am determined to attain my goals. So confident, that upon my return to Beijing I set about getting my television show produced.

My television show is called "The Lost American". As you may guess, I am the lost American. To this very moment I am still lost and have no clue where I am. The shows concept is based upon the wild popularity of reality television (which I do surely miss), which China lacks. Imagine The Tom Green Show mixed with Wild On, spiced with Insomniac and kicked up a notch by Jackass. Basically the show would involve me doing some crazy stuff.

Here I was face to face with a six foot security guard holding a rifle telling him in English, "I want a television show". It was only after much yelling, a little bribery and a phone call that they let me through the main gate. However, I was only to be dissappointed because unfortunately all the producers were still on the National Holiday. But my complaining was not in vain; in the end, I was the victor because I gained the phone numbers and email addresses of the producer who could give me the show. By very chance, after 3 weeks of waiting they responded back to me today. One billion Chinese will soon be watching my smiling face.

I broke down and went to Mcdonalds. You might think poorly of me but it was the most delicious meal I have had in China to date. Those salty transfatty acid artery clogging french fries sent me to cloud nine. I could write a sonnet on the beauty of a McChicken Sandwich. After Mcd's, I said the hell with Chinese food, pizza hut here I come. That was a delicious bite of Americana. After a large supreme pizza with my parents, my body was in a state of paralysis. I couldn't even wipe my tomato sauce smeared lips. Thank the heavens for Ray Kroc.

As I mentioned before, my parents came to visit me in china. I believe that China left quite an impression on my folks. One event especially characterizes not only their trip but most of the Walcutt clan's adventures. One day, my parents gave me a call and told me they were in China. I was very excited. I wanted them to experience the real deal. I did some research and found what I thought could be the coolest thing in Beijing--an Underground city. Built in the height of the cold war, this archaic monument to communism and fear was definitely going to blow my parents away. As we dove into the innards of this subterranean metropolis, we all realized one thing. This city sucked. The never-ending hallways leading to abandoned rooms, the asbestos and poor lighting was not worth 20 kuai. The one thing that was enjoyable was the lack of tourists. Like most Walcutt vacations--high expectations quashed, followed by cynical quibble.

One last thing before I depart to begin my weekend routine. I hope that your Halloween was enjoyable. This year I was an american in communist attire. I had my cool communist coat and one of those russian hats. Underneath, I had my "I love NY" tee shirt. Under the skin of every socialist lies a blue blood american capitalist. Especially in china.

Chinese Practice

Nov. 21, 2003

Ni hao,

Are you enjoying life? The cold darkness of winter is descending upon Beijing, as my Israeli friend Eran told me, "Soon there will be no sun and we will all die." As you can tell, he is an optimist. On the night of the premier of Matrix Revolution (a movie so disappointing that I have lost faith the American film industry), we had our first snow fall. Revelry and a constant barrage of snowballs at Korean girls marked the next day. I pegged one them on the side of the head from 50 feet away. The snow was soon replaced by freezing cold rain.

You might be wondering how my chinese language is going. You may think of it as a type of slow painful torture. Some days I am flying high. I can have a 20 minute conversation without blinking an eye. However, the majority of days I am filled with insane rage. Chinese is not the easiest thing in the world. Fortunately for me, the chinese have established an ingenius system to help those who lack the highly developed right side brain. They call it "language peng you" which literally means Language Friend. The system starts out with a chinese person (usually an attractive female) who then approaches a foreigner (me) and then asks if they could practice their english with them. In return, the foreigner can then practice their chinese with their new friend. I currently have 9 language peng you’s (all of whom are females). The system is very practical for many other things besides language.

Well I have to run. It is time for some language practice.

Sincerely striving for excellence,


Jason

Thanksgiving

Good morrow friend from a far and distant land,

It is I. Still here and still living. Firstly, I want to wish you a very fulfilling thanksgiving. May your belt buckle never be reset. You might be thinking, "Poor Jason. All the way in China. No friends, no family and no hope for a taste of turkey. Sucks for him". But you are wrong my friend you are wrong. Not only did I have a thanksgiving, but I might have had one of the best thanksgivings ever.

It occurred to me several weeks ago that soon the blessed day of gorging would soon be upon us. Thanksgiving was a day that stood out in my memories. Whether it was the consumption of massive amounts of pecan pie, drinking gravy out of a wine glass or throwing a turkey wing at an annoying sibling, I was not going to break tradition. Always a fan of pre-planning, I and my fellow thanksgiving fanatics started preparing for the event. The vegetables were no problem, but the pies, stuffing and turkey were definitely a concern. I did some research and found a turkey--in America. So I had the turkey imported from America, this massive 22 pound bird was sure to feed the 15 mouths. The pie crust were retrieved from Shanghai, and the stove top and gravy was fedex'ed from California.

The week of thanksgiving was chaotic. I had midterms which I did NOT ROCK. On the night before my listening test, we made the pumpkin pies and squash. We also put the turkey into a brine which was a debacle. Right after my speaking test (which I did pretty well at bc I love to talk), It was like taking crazy pills. Turkey went in the oven--vegetables being chopped-- massive amounts of mashing--stuffing--the real deal. The guests arrived and five hours later the turkey was done. But when I saw that beautiful bird, my heart skipped a beat. It was really thanksgiving. After the feast, the tryptophane and wine sank in. Soon moving was impossible.
My mom would be proud.

Bruce Lee is back

Dec. 13, 2003

I am in incredible pain. You might be thinking to yourself saying, "Why would Jason be in such pain?" and I would say because I have started full contact Kung Fu. DUMBASS!!! right. Why would a skinny ass white kid from Cape Cod want to put his life in jeopardy? I really don't know.

Here is a typical Sanda (full contact Kung fu) class. First,I stretch out. Then this champion fighter walks in and starts yelling at me in garbled chinese. Then I just totally freak out. Punching, Kicking, super punch, hook and round house. I look really goofy.

The highlight of the class is when I do a split. By the end of the class, I am unable to move, but man do I feel like picking a fight.

I am also in pain because I went snowboarding. Yea, pretty crazy right. The chinese are just starting to learn this concept. The mountain or hill as one might view it was very dissappointing. It is china, and it was quite novel to see two chinese skiers collide head on in the air.

One last note, yesterday I decided to become an importer/exporter. So now I am exporting Authentic North Face Jackets back to the states. If you are interested, I can get you a sweet deal.

Sincerely wheeling and dealing,


Jason

China spelled backwards is Anihc

Dec. 28, 2003

I am mighty fine. With fine cunning and strategic planning, I was able to survive the holidays without a bit of depression or loneliness. That is a feat to marvel at because I knew that with out proper preparation my xmas and chanukah could have been utterly disgusting. Instead, I rejoiced, I ate, I sang and I drank a lot (but in a joyful manner). On Xmas eve, I broke bread with some lovely dutch woman and then proceeded in late night revelry. On xmas, I thought it be very appropriate to do the most sterotypical american jew tradition and go out for Chinese food. YUM.

What else in my life? Today I went ice skating and marveled at Chinese people falling head over heels on cracking ice.

By the way, last time I mentioned that I started selling North Face jackets. My little business has really taken off. I hired my first employee this week. Right now his big job is finding me an apartment.

Where you headed in your life, Jason? Good question. I am road tripping across china between the 6th and 20th of feb. Then I am returning back to NYC for 1-2 weeks and then cape cod for 2 weeks. After, I am back in china till july. Then I bike across America for 6 weeks. Go to a wedding and a bat mitzvah in august. Finally, in sept. go back to NYU. WOW that was exciting.
Keep on kicking it

Sincerely suffering from hubris,


Jason

A few weeks of pain

Jan. 11, 2004

That has been the story of my life. The obstacles have been mighty but fortunately I have survived. I will begin with the most recent events..

For sometime, White Lightening 2, my trusty steed/bike (W.L. 1 met its fate when its back wheel collapsed from under my weight) had been having some problems. As I would be driving along, I would occasionally lose control of him for a few seconds. Last evening, I was crossing a busy intersection with a red light, when suddenly THE HANDLE BARS CAME OFF. Stop!!! Like in the movies there was that brief moment of realization in my eyes and the formation of a 4 letter word beginning with F on my lips before I came crashing down onto cold hard payment. The crowd of smirking Chinese onlookers only increased my pains.

The injury before this was during a sande match against my good buddy Jimmy. I punched him in the face and sprained my finger.

Finally, the last injury, which was more of joy than a pain, was a Karaoke competition that I competed in. I had to sing a Chinese song, so I chose "A Lust for Life" by iggy pop and translated it into Chinese. I had a BLAST doing it, but it seems the judges didn't think so. I didn't make it to the semi's

Keep in touch and do something meaningful,


Sincerely healing,


Jason

Just Ridiculous

Jan. 28, 2004

Well Friend,

Let me apologize, in the beginning, for the quality of this
email. When I first arrived in China, I was certainly a master of
the English language; however, I have recently been feeling the
slippery slide down into incoherence.

I will blame all of this on the Chinese. Them and their damn
New Years! For 358 days of the year, the Chinese work. They
work their little asses off. Then right about now, they stop
working, drink massive amounts of their stomach curdling
alcohol (Bai Jiu) and light off massive amounts of fireworks, in
the most irresponsible way possible. How irresponsible?
Imagine a game where small children are encouraged by their
parents to hurl medium sized explosives at foreigners (me). I believe that living here will be the closest thing to war that I will ever experience.

A side effect of this reckless regard of human safety is that I
have massive amounts of free time. I usually average 4 hours
of Chinese television a day. I follow this with two or three
dvds. As always, I think about studying Chinese but never any
action. Yet, amazingly, my Chinese improves. The other day I
had a whole conversation about the difference between
American toilets and Chinese toilets with my landlord.

This time has also given me a chance to really understand
China. It is one wacky place. A few comrades and I have
started a new activity, which I call "Hutong Creeping". First, let
me ask you a question. Where do a billion people live? In
Beijing, 8 million people used to live in a rectangular housing
unit known as a Hutong. As 2008 approaches, the PRC has
taken an anti-hutong stance. Effectively destroying millions of
homes and forcefully moving the people to the countryside,
you know this shit happens, especially here. The hutongs of
today are where the real chinese live. Lacking indoor
plumbing and heating, with up to ten people living in the size
of my old dorm room, it makes sense why the gov't doesn't
want me to see these places. Late at night we quietly creep.
When walking through the hutongs you feel as though you are
traveling back 300 years. Basically, like a bunch of gawking
tourists in a museum, we observe these peoples lives. I have
truly never felt a more exhilarating high on life until the
hutongs.

Sincerely believing that I have way too much free time,


Jason

Moving on up

Feb. 9, 2004

Killing some time,

Like a sailor out at sea, I am getting cabin fever here in beijing. You know, its been about 5 1/2 months I have been in China...and well its time to move on. The chinese food has lost its charm, and the bleak depressing 1980's colored buildings are not as pleasing to the eye. Recently, I have strapped on the olde hiking pack and have taken to the hills.

My first destination has been the ancient walled city of Ping Yao. This city was quite a trip. Within the stone fortified walls dating back to the ming dynasty, Peter (my american comrade) and I galloped through the cobbled streets as the stereotypical American tourists. Along the way, we drank tea with a Ping Yao family, got one of the more interesting hair cuts in my life and became intentionally lost in some back alleys.

The highlight was riding for two hours in a hard seater train. When an average chinese person travels long distance, they usually ride in a over-packed, smoked filled coffin. Where if you are not drinking yourself into a daze, you are in a state of shock that mounds of trash could rise so fast in the aisle way. When we entered this cattle car, every pair of eyes was fixed upon us. We were put through a inquisition of questions. Two hours was just about as much time we could take but to think that some people do 48 hours in such conditions is just ridiculous.

My brother has just arrived in Beijing. We have been doing the whole sightseeing thing. In one day, we go south for both a change in latitude and attitude. The plan is that I am returning back to the cape on March 2 and will be in NYC on the 13.

More things to come.

Sincerely moving out,


Jason

A Travesty that Happened

Feb. 22, 2004

The ordeals of the last few weeks will be remembered as the last great challenge of escaping asia. (If you are as lazy as I and just want to know the culmination of our great adventure, please read the last paragraph)

The Chinese are cheekier than they appear.

My brother arrived to Beijing about 2 weeks ago. Starting upon arrival and not ending until his departure, he was in state of constant awe. After four days in Beijing, we boarded a 24 hour train ride down to Guilin in the Guangxi province. I warned my xiao didi (little brother) the great horrors I have witnessed when one decides to have one sip of alcohol with Chinese men. It is only a slippery slope down to complete ruin.

What feels like 3 weeks on this train, we arrive to our destination and board a bus to go to Yangshou. A groovy small village which is nestled in between towering pillars of lime stone, this tropical bastion is a stop over point for any weary traveler. Not only does everyone speak English but every restaurant has pizza and a plethora of other western cuisine.

The next day after arrival, my brother and I depart on what was supposed to be a 3 hour bike tour of the surrounding country side. Awe struck by the beauty of the landscape and hearts beating fast with the feeling of reckless freedom in the rural country side of southern China, we decided to get off the beaten path and explore some surrounding villages. Eight hours later we returned back to town sun burned, weary and bikes ready to fall to pieces. In that time span, I guess we took a wrong turn which led us along ancient broken roads, through dry river beds and down treacherous hills. Knowing my luck with bikes, my chain broke off which left us stranded in a small village where my limited mandarin did very little. However, the villages we passed through were rarely frequented by foreigners and we had an interesting look into the life of a farming peasant. My conclusion is that I would not like to be one. Luckily, we found a small school filled with hundreds of childre
n all shouting "hello" and "your welcome", whose teachers pointed us in the correct direction.

Two days later, we left Yang Shou and took an 8 hour bus ride (I still have bad dreams from this ride. Who decides to watch "Wind Talkers" at 12pm?) to Guangzhou, portal city into Hong Kong.

We arrived into Hong Kong by business class train and we were met at the station by my dear friend Ellie who found us a place to stay and has helped us become true blue blood expats in a city that can be explained as a place perched in the clouds that has the most mercedes I have ever seen in my life. Not only that but they all drive on the wrong side of the road which makes crossing the street very perilous. It is definitely a city that is the result of good ole fashioned British imperialism--and thank heavens for that because I was getting tired of the Chinese style toilets.

Well it was hie time for my brother to head back to the states and like a good brother, I accompied him to the airport. Three hours later, peacefully taking a nap, I receive a call from Ellie informing me that my brother had been ARRESTED and was being detained by airport police. I mean what the fuck. For 14 days that I have been with my brother there has been relatively no trouble. I leave him for 2 hours, and he gets arrested. I return back to the airport and am escorted to the police station where I meet the detective who was in charge of my brothers case. He told me that my brother was arrested because he stole a bottle of perfume from a duty free shop. After 6 hours sitting in a jail cell, I put up the $2000 HK in bail money, and my brother is released. Now, I don't believe that my brother is stupid. What he told me was that a Korean girl had slipped the perfume in his backpack pocket. The next day because he is still considered a minor, my brother is let off with a stern warning. However, the interesting thing was that the detective believed that it would be the best for my brother if he admitted to stealing the perfume. In the end, to get out of Hong Kong, my brother lied to the police cheif and promised never to do it again.

Wow, well I am glad that is over with. Now I am off to Shang Hai for hopefully some less stressful times.

Sincerely close to calamity,


Jason

Glorious Return

Feb. 29, 2004

As I was sitting in the lobby of my 19th century Hostel I am staying, I pondered the joys and struggles I experienced for the past 6 months in China. I have decided that it was good.

I return back to the US in one day for 3 weeks in America. I hope that I get to see you when I get back. If any of your contact information has changed from when I last saw you please send me the revisions. My tentative itinerary for the next few weeks is listed below.

March 2: arrive back to Cape Cod

March 5: arrive New York City

March 10: return back to Cape Cod

March 23: return back to Beijing

I truly want to see you and catch up on all that has happened in the last few months.

Sincerely,


Jason

Which way am I going?

March 21, 2004

Hooo Yaaaa,

Cracking his knuckles nervously while scratching his day old unshaven cheeks, Jason reflects on his recent journeys. As he straps on his sleek neon green traveling belt (no way resembling a fanny pack) and ties dirt caked boots, images of close and faraway lands interrupt his passive Cape Cod thoughts.

The walk down the familiar gravel driveway is unusually longer. Before departing, he stands for a few moments as a chill eastern spring breeze seems to suggest the inevitable direction of his next move.

New hopes and schemes are already being formulated as he climbs into the driver seat ready for the long drive ahead.

Farewell USA....Ni Hao China.

Sincerely Semper Fi,


Jason

Why are Beijing security guards useless?

April 12, 2004

Hello Ese,

An understatement of understatements would be to believe that the last few weeks have been uninteresting. After returning to the land of over a billion tea cups, the realization dawned on me: China was not the same place as it was when I first arrived. For some, this might not be an important precedent, but for me, it was monumental.

For example, I am living in CHINA which is a truly wacky place. There once was a feeling of awed peculiarity. Every action was followed by a sense of astonishment. The simple act of eating at the local jiao zi (dumpling) restaurant was a sensory overload. The sounds, smells and sights were overwhelming. Now that feeling is gone. At first I mourned, but then I accepted the transition.

The evolution has even rewarded me with some perks. No longer am I lost in the language. Granted I am far from great, but I can get by. My language level is that of a 7 year old--I can talk about my wants and needs. My goal is that of a 13 year old girl--where I can talk about my feelings, emotions and gossip (lots of gossip). Furthermore, now that there seems to be a semi-permanency in my time in China, new and exciting opportunities are opening up every day. For example, tomorrow I go to have an interview for becoming a fashion model and by the end of the week, I might just be buying a Vespa scooter to be part of a scooter gang.

There is even a feeling of disconnectedness from America. I feel as though I am a veteran of China. I have been through the shit and back again; now I would even dare to call myself an expatriate. But there is still daily struggle and constant self-analysis. Routine is the last thing I need. Although I am no longer the Lost American; I am nonetheless still lost.

So it is with a furrowed brow and a wink in the eye, I get back to business in Asia. As Confucious once said, "Qian li zhi xing, shi yu zu xia" (Every long journey starts with one step) I leap into round 2.

Sincerely listening to Chinese pop music,


Jason

What is acute mountain sickness and why is my head pounding?

May 9th, 2004

Greetings from Shangri la,

Feeling that a change was in order, this past week, I packed up my bags and headed south. My destination was the rainy city of Yi Chang. An otherwise crappy river town, this city of 3 million is the gateway city to Yangtze River and is also very close to the Three Gorges damn project.

This is one of the many questionable public works projects China has begun to reaffirm their greatness as a nation. On one hand the damn could supposedly prevent flooding, which has always been a scourge to the region, and be a source of great energy for all of southern China (equivalent to 18 nuclear power plants). However, critics have also pointed out that the damn will displace over two million people and could also become China's largest cess pool. Either way, it is a damn big damn. The security around the damn was surprisingly easy to bypass and I found myself down in the construction site being gawked at by hundreds of workers.

The next day I met up with my roommate, Peter, who invited me to go up the river. What he didn't tell me was that we were going to be pimp styling up the Yangtze in the PHATEST boat on the river. For me, luxury is only an indulgence obtained in dreams, so the two western buffets a day, private showers, and english service was well welcomed. The five day cruise had many fine points but the one that sits out acutely in my mind was lounging in the back of the boat feeling the hot river sun on my shoulders, viewing the abandoned cities that were going to be swallowed by 2009, listening to Miles Davis.

I then arrived into Chongqing where I then took a very bumpy bus ride to Chengdu in Sichuan province. It was while in Chengdu that I faced a conundrum. Where should I go next?

Now I am in Lhasa, Tibet, making desperate attempts to inhale enough oxygen to maintain conscience. From what I have seen of this once forbidden land is that there is much for me to discover. Hopefully, by today I will be acclimated enough to start trekking around.

Sincerely eating way too much Yak,


Jason

The last chapter is the hardest one (resent)

June 15, 2004

Fie Fie,

This will be the last correspondence you will receive from me while
I reside in the wonderful world of China. Through forces
beyond my control, the fates have decided to prematurely send me
away from my fantasy world. A word of advice for you future world
trekkers, never book your tickets through a travel agent.
Especially through Cyndy Burdige at Bruce Travel whose negligence
now forces me away (single tear).

However, do not fret, for I am enjoying my last days with a mighty
passion. The last time I left you, I was up in the Tibetan mountains
struggling to breath. Tibet was a different world. Overall, the
experience was mama huhu (just okay). Lhasa was a very
depressing place. Question for you: what happens after you invade
a country and for 50 years systematically destroy a people’s culture,
traditions, religion and culture. Answer: Something that looks like
modern day Lhasa. Not only does it have the highest percentage of
child beggars that I have ever seen but now the Chinese have
succeeded in segregating the remaining tibetans into their own
small ghetto. How quaint.

When I left, Lhasa was when the interesting things started
happening. I was fortunate enough to witness a "Sky Burial" which
is a traditional Tibetan burial ceremony. They have some logistical
problems in Tibet. The main problem is that they have very little
arable land and burnable substances, so how do Tibetans get rid of
a deceased Tibetan when they cannot bury or burn a corpse. Well,
they slice up the body and feed it to vultures of course. I have
never seen a dead body before. I was lucky then to see four dead
Tibetans. The details of the procedure will be saved for later
conversation, but just think, it only takes 20 minutes for 80
vultures to devour a human body.

Speaking of near funerals, I almost had my own brush with death.
No silly, not on my scooter. I was enjoying a lively evening on the
town, at one of the popular discothèques, when I was brusquely
shoved to the side by a dissatisfied patron. I thought for good
measure I should confront this rabble-rouser and show him what 4
months of Sanda will do. But no sooner do I turn, than this
fiend is wielding a 3 foot long Katana sword waving it in the air
with a face bright red. At this point, I run. I am no hero nor do I
believe that being impaled will help in my future. With a curt cry
the cretin clambers into the club. There are screams and divulge
of people exit. The final brawl was between the bouncer (holding a
bar stool) and the swordsman. What is China turning into?

Although it is sad to leave the life I have started here, I do believe
that I am ready to face the real world once again. A land where you
can live in upper middle class Chinese housing for a $100 a month,
drive a motor scooter without a permit and where a native English
speaker's biggest problem is whether to go out for Japanese or
Korean food is a place outside reality.

In a week from this day, June 22nd, I will be back on Cape Cod. I
got a gig working as a construction worker. To all you American
friends, we will soon be in contact. To all you Chinese friends (be
you Chinese or cracker) I am sure our paths will meet again.

Sincerely Semper Fi,


Jason

Back Ho

July 29, 2004

Hello Peoples,

As the sweat is pouring down my bulging, tee-shirt splitting pectoral muscles, I heave the sledge hammer over my head and with a loud grunt let it come crashing down--feeling the earth shake beneath my feet. It is mighty nice life as a construction worker. An average work day varies, but I generally wake up around 6am and have to be at the work site around 7am. Joe, my boss, a very fat man who loves his Big Macs and Lemon Burst Donut (500+ calories), deals with mostly concrete. Which means we generally do two things: either pour it or smash it. To aid my coworkers and I in our heroic perpetual quest to either create or destroy, I have been able to use: a chainsaw, wood chipper, diamond blade saw, jackhammer, backhoe and a hammer.

Provided below is picture of me on the big toy.

When I am not working heavy machinery, I religiously watch the Democratic National Convention. It was one dark grey New York evening that I was enlightened to a truly sinister scheme. My plan was to enter the ranks of the republican party. I would gain their trust and soon work my way up into the upper echlons of their evil empire. At the point where they would need my full support for a crucial matter, I would reveal my brilliant ploy and shatter all their dreams. I was gun ho about this plan until I realized that it would mean me pretending to be like an asshole for a good 20 years.

Well, that pretty much wraps up what is going on in my crazy life on Cape Cod. I know, it is a party. This coming fall, I will be back in New York City so if you are around my hood, knock my cellie up.

Sincerely still practicing Chinese,


Jason

40 Grand Goes A Long Way

Sept. 20, 2004

Once again I have returned to the city that spawned all the adventures.

Although the city hasn’t changed, my view of it has. I am still attending New York University but even my perception of the school has changed. I would attribute a large part of this to now living in Sunnyside, Queens. My new neighborhood reminds me of Sesame Street but with way more Koreans. It draws close similarity to my apartment in Beijing; for example, I even have a mango lady who chases me down the street trying to sell me her produce.

NYU has gotten a lot better since I left. I have devised a brilliant scheme, which enables me to get free lunch and dinner 5 days of the week. I realized that NYU has over 300 clubs which periodically have meetings which also means they have free food. This past week I attended meetings at the Japanese Christian Club, Equestrian Club and my own club NEFA (New Englanders for America).

But the question, you really want to know is have I met the Olsen Twins. Well, lets just say that they have my number, and when they want to talk, they can call the digits.

More importantly, if you happen to feel the compulsion to chill in the coolest city in the world, rest assured that you have a place to crash. Either, give me a ring on my new cell:



Sincerely keeping it real,

Jason